Let’s be real—being a teen today is a whole different beast than it was even ten years ago.
Between the pressure to keep up appearances on social media, navigate intense family dynamics, and somehow figure out who they are in the middle of all that? It’s no wonder so many young people are emotionally tapped out.
In a recent Becoming Sound episode, I sat down with therapist and mental health advocate Desiree Argentina to unpack what’s really going on behind the scenes in the lives of teenagers—and how we as adults can support them without trying to “fix” them.
Spoiler alert: They don’t need fixing. They need to be heard.
Mental Health Isn’t a Trend—It’s a Lifeline
One of the most powerful takeaways from this conversation was how open teens are becoming about their mental health. More than ever, they’re asking for therapy, talking about their feelings, and naming their struggles out loud.
But that doesn’t mean they’re always getting what they need.
Too many teens are still growing up in homes where emotions get swept under the rug, discomfort is avoided like the plague, and “strong” means silent. Sounds familiar – echoes from my own childhood.
Whether you’re a parent, teacher, older sibling, or someone healing your own inner teen, these patterns matter. And they don’t stop mattering just because we age out of high school.
Emotional Regulation is a Skill—Not a Personality Trait
Desiree dropped some truth bombs around emotional regulation that I wish every adult could hear. Emotional regulation isn’t something you’re born with—it’s something you learn.
But if you grew up in a household where anger, sadness, or even joy weren’t safe to express, chances are you didn’t learn healthy regulation. You learned suppression, or overreaction, or numbing out.
So now imagine you’re a teenager today—with access to everyone’s curated highlight reel on Instagram, zero privacy, and a brain that’s still developing—and you’re expected to handle life like a mini-adult?
Yeah…no wonder anxiety, depression, and burnout are through the roof.
Coping Strategies That Actually Work
We talked about real, practical coping mechanisms teens are gravitating toward—things like art, music, journaling, movement, mindfulness, and meaningful peer connection.
They don’t need more lectures. They need outlets. Space. Permission to feel what they feel without being judged or pathologized.
The same goes for adults. If you’re still in survival mode, white-knuckling your way through emotional chaos, this isn’t about blame—it’s about breaking the cycle.
Family Dynamics & Triggers: What’s Yours and What’s Theirs
One of the biggest stressors teens face? Family expectations. And guess what—they’re usually not voicing how much pressure they feel.
They don’t want to disappoint you. They’re absorbing your stress, trying to manage their own, and often walking on eggshells to keep the peace.
And this part? It’s not just about teens.
If you’re constantly triggered by your kid, your partner, your parent—it might be time to look at the unhealed parts of yourself that are screaming for attention.
Healing doesn’t mean being perfect. It means being honest—with yourself and with others.
We Heal in Community, Not Isolation
Here’s the truth: you can’t out-hustle your emotional pain. And you can’t expect a teen to figure it all out alone either.
We need community. We need conversations like this. We need safe spaces to fall apart, get messy, ask for help, and learn how to show up for ourselves and each other in more emotionally honest ways.
Ready to Break the Cycle?
If this post hit home—whether for you, your teen, or the teenager you used to be—I’ve got something for you.
Grab my free guide: https://kristazaft.com/5-steps-to-come-home-to-yourself
It’s designed to help you get clear, take care of your nervous system, and start building a life that
actually feels good to live in.
Listen to the full episode here:
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7cFGRd7dCdPFNH2WiJTJyP?si=ycna0yD6QyCQndI-fFPecA
Krista xo
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