Imagine deciding to take on a project that you feel is in absolute alignment with your purpose, sounds amazing right?  A project like learning how to podcast, starting a new (first ever) podcast, building a website, starting up a life coaching business all while participating in an extensive coaching program with multiple calls monthly and retreats to keep you accountable and holding down a 30+ hour a week job during the day. For someone who has their shit together, sounds like another day at the office. But for a perfectionist, sounds like a mess and a whole lot of procrastination! It’s me – I’m the ‘recovering’ perfectionist and clearly I didn’t have the slightest clue what I was getting myself into – welcome to my last 3 months. Growing up in a home with a parent who had a substance use disorder (alcoholism), I developed my perfectionism behaviours early in life, so I’ve had time to really ‘perfect’ it. This behaviour wasn’t always on a conscious level, you can listen to my podcast episode 2 to understand more of this! I’ve spent most of my life trying to make everything appear perfect, but always feeling like a fraud and a mess inside, driven by fear of not meeting someone’s approval or being unworthy of love.

I could tell you how many times it took me to record my first couple episodes, but you can probably guess…. way too many, because my “not good enough” thought pattern was loud. Thank goodness for the  awareness tools I have acquired over the years of healing, the coaching program and for Al-Anon, all of which were keeping me grounded more than ever and self-aware that recovery takes time, patience and compassion. Me 5 years ago would have never followed through like I am today. So how do you begin to recover from perfectionism? Great Question, and I don’t have all the answers, but here’s what worked for me… My journey started about 15 years ago when I discovered a book called “The Gifts of Imperfection” by Brene Brown. As I read, I felt like she was talking to me and only me because that’s how alone I felt. It sparked something inside me to start challenging my thoughts, get curious and find some help. Recognizing the patterns of behaviour was the first step and it wasn’t an over night process as any self proclaimed perfectionist will know.  If you’re ready to start on your own recovery path, here are a few key ideas you can implement into your life to help you:

~ Practice Self Compassion

Cultivate self-kindness by treating yourself with the same understanding and support you would offer a friend. Acknowledge that everyone makes mistakes and that it’s a natural part of learning and growth. 

~ Challenge Negative Thoughts

Identify and challenge perfectionist thoughts. Instead of thinking, “I must do this perfectly,” reframe it to “I will do my best, and that is enough.” This can help shift your mindset toward a more balanced perspective.

~ Limit Comparisons

Reduce the habit of comparing yourself to others, especially on social media. Focus on your own progress and values, and remind yourself that everyone has their own unique journey. Comparison is the thief of joy and you deserve joy!

~ Set Realistic Goals

Begin by setting achievable and specific goals instead of aiming for perfection. Break larger tasks into smaller, manageable parts, and celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small.

~ Embrace Imperfection

Actively seek out opportunities to embrace imperfection. This could involve trying new activities where you’re a beginner, allowing yourself to make mistakes, and seeing them as learning experiences rather than failures.

Implementing these steps can help ease the pressure of perfectionism and promote a healthier, more fulfilling approach to life and work. This journey is just that – a journey and not something to be “perfect” at. Look for opportunities to show the world your authentic self, imperfections and all. When you start showing up for yourself as you truly are, the world opens up exciting and beautiful experiences that we would not have otherwise seen while trying to be perfect at everything. Life is out there waiting for us, so be brave and show up as your perfectly imperfect self!

“I’m a recovering perfectionist and an aspiring good-enoughist” ~ Brene Brown

Krista   XO